Honey, you run away from your wedding and get a whole town worried about you, and you cover face with THAT ugly old thing?

Runner-up nomination goes to CNN, Fox, and everyone else who covered this story as part of the hot "Hide the white women!" trend.

If a loved one of ours went missing, darn skippy we'd want media coverage in hopes of their safe return. But Jennifer Wilbanks's disappearance was not headline national news. Her disappearance did not trump, let's say, Iraq's new government, George II's Social Security shenanigans, or Tom DeLay's cretinism. Perhaps her disappearance merited a headline in Georgia newspapers, but we at the Pepper didn't need to see Jennifer Wilbanks's face staring at us at the top of every hour.

World O'Crap also mopped the floor with Bill O'Reilly's smug mug, as he was overconfident that Wilbanks didn't up and kidnap herself.

Either way, we at the Pepper this trend disturbing for a host of reasons. We're tired of hearing about white women in peril. The news media clearly hunts for these stories. They must boost ratings, which says something disturbing about society as a whole. They did it with Laci Peterson, they did it with Terri Schiavo, and they did it with Audrey Seiler, another self-obsessed bourgeois gal who didn't think she was getting enough attention or something.

Okay, okay, we at the Pepper shouldn't get personal, but this Jennifer Wilbanks character, Audrey Seiler, and those who overhyped their stories are all pitiful, not just for what they put their parents through but also for propping up the image of women - white women, in particular - as these helpless beings. They are also overshadowing the REAL problems women have, such as lack of support in raising children, lower wages than men, gee, should we go on?

If this keeps happening, we at the Pepper would not be shocked in the least if some cracker-jackin' wingnut suggested that white women be locked up in their homes for fear that someone would try to kidnap them. These stories make people scared. They enforce hysteria. Of course, women in that part of Georgia were loath to go outside. All the stories focused on how Wilbanks went out for a jog and then went missing. How many people advised women, "Honey, maybe you shouldn't go jogging tonight?"

One last personal note: For a 32-year-old to be such a chicken and not tell her family she didn't want to marry the guy is ridiculous. And it is bourgeois to let your family spend all that money on a wedding party with 600 guests (!!!) and then run off. That's what happens in the movies, not in real life. She should have learned to make distinctions between the two long ago.

Then again, if the treatment of society makes some women think so little of themselves that they feel the only option is to run away from an unwanted wedding, then that is sad in its own right.

Posted by Pepper at 04:55 PM | Permalink

Being navel-gazing San Franciscans, we at the Pepper don't often venture out to see what's going on in other parts of the nation. However, we spent a significant chunk of our lives in Tennessee and Kentucky ('round the time when the unfortunately named Bill Boner was mayor of Nashville), and we like to keep up with what's going down in that part of the world.

Hence, we are regular readers of South Knox Bubba, and SKB posted about a disturbing incident at a Knoxville public elementary school.

Here's the lede: "A fifth-grade girl at A.L. Lotts Elementary School had hoped to participate in National Pro-Life TShirt Day, so on Tuesday she donned the official shirt, which pictures a fetus and says in capital letters, "ABORTION KILLS KIDS." "

The principal sent that child - and her mother, who accompanied the child armed with legal documents - home. And rightfully so.

SKB savaged the mother who used her own child as a political pawn: "What kind of parent abuses their kid for a stunt like this?"

Of course, some of the more conservative types in SKB's comments section went to town, calling libs hypocritical for demanding free speech but saying it's okay to send this child home for expressing her opinion.

Our sharp retort to that - it's not her opinion. It's obviously her mother's opinion. And if you think that anyone under the age of 15 (and that's being generous!) has a sharply formed opinion about ANYTHING, you're living in fairy land. Expecting a 12-year-old to understand the ethical complexities of the abortion debate or even to understand how people get pregnant is ridiculous. Heck, some adults think you can't get pregnant the first time!

We would also add what we posted over at SKB, which is that in fifth grade (the child is 12 but is in fifth-grade, suggesting she really might not grasp what's going on around her), students aren't even taught fetal development. They certainly don't get anything resembling sex ed at that point.

How can anyone expect a child to wear a political tee-shirt to school? A teenager, fine, but a child? No way. We at the Pepper are big fat libs. The blue blood runs in our veins like a river, and we're even disagreeing with some of the SKB respondents on this one, but we don't think that elementary-school kids should be allowed to wear ANY political gear to schools. That also goes for anything that furthers the liberal cause. Unless the child understands it, the child can't wear it.

If only that rule applied to little girls and trampy clothes. Sigh.

We at the Pepper attended a public school in the region, and we got in hot water for wearing punk-rock shirts and even a pro-life shirt. We didn't like it when we were told "turn it inside out, or haul your sorry butt home" either. But we were 16. We knew exactly what we were saying by wearing a pro-choice shirt to school (and we knew it would tick off a school filled with Cracker-Jackin' Fundamentalist Baptists!). But this kid is in fifth grade. Our momma would have tanned our hides if we tried to leave the house wearing anything remotely offensive if we were under age 16.

Posted by Pepper at 03:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The Pepper’s recent post about the guy surreptitiously reading Ann Coulter on the train prompts the reclusive Dr. Pepper to emerge from hiding and puzzle over a new phenomenon: the socially visible conservative who does much more than carry the conservative canon around. This is the cultural rebel who, as the Pepper reported in its January 12 report on Metrospy, cultivates conservative antagonism for its own sake, proclaiming defiance and death to all the powers that oppress them: the, er, liberal (corporate) media, activist (Republican) judges, and the obstructing (enfeebled) Democratic representatives.

Rather than wrapping themselves in the banner of Americanism and the ideology of the universal appeal of our country, the new socially visible conservatives prefer the notion of an irremediable conflict. Their lack of interest in winning you over has everything to do with their lack of interest in the idea of the U.S. as a level playing field. They flaunt their rebellion against rebels, advertise their feelings of martyrdom, and reject any attempt to reason others into their view of the world. It’s a cynical, post-ideological conservativism. They don’t even pretend to speak for the common American. The popular new T-shirt "Hung Like a Republican" expresses this view of the world quite well: the slogan equates their newfound political dominance with the size of something we are not actually invited to look at. If they were just to come out and say that political power should belong to the guys with the biggest dicks, they wouldn’t need a T-shirt. It would at least be authentically male-centered, like the crowd at a gay bar. Indeed, to the extent that the T-shirt’s swagger is directed at other men, it is ultimately homophobic, fearing what it also flirts with.

There's an insidious way that the biggest political dicks are suddenly becoming visible in the Bay Area. There always have been waves of radicals in the East Bay, but never before of the flagwaving variety. We had hippies, then communists, then punks, then hippies again. All of these groups made at least some pretence to inclusiveness. Now some of these radicals are committed to self-interest along. They’re not unlike the singing Senator who Tim Robbins portrayed in "Bob Roberts," with his hit single is "The Times are a'changing--back."

To illustrate: Dr. Pepper was opening the door of his car in North Oakland on Telegraph Avenue, on the Berkeley border, when a doofy-haired surfer guy steps up and points to the John Kerry bumper sticker that Dr. Pepper hasn't had the heart to peel off. "John Kerry, huh?" the guy says. "Why not Karl Marx?"

Oh great, I thought, fine. Another sidewalk communist muttering to himself about how pulling the lever for the Democrat will amount to chump change in the final struggle. Probably ready to sermonize about how I need a red bumper sticker with a hammer and sickle.

"You know, Teresa Heinz Kerry was in Angola at a time when you had to be in bed with the Communists to get out of there alive."

Oh, boy. It's a radical Republican--and not one of the kind from the 1870s!

He continued: "Hey, more power to you, man, since you're going with Marx. Communism is not a bad way of life, bro. The only problem with it is that you're going to have to kill the one-third of the population that don't agree with you."

Getting into my car, I muttered a craven observation about how Teresa Kerry's political views weren't relevant. "Perhaps she was much more to the left than her husband."

"No, man," he replied. "John is just as foul."

The Bay Area is likely to become the home of such wingnuts in the future. Having no religious fundamentalist base, right-wing conservativism in the Bay Area may tribalize into the new political factions that we already have in many other parts of the country: people who do what they do not out of some deep faith, but for the sake of conflict itself. They articulate the kind of historical paranoia, and preach the kind of anger, previously seen only among the extreme Left.

Posted by DrPepper at 10:53 AM | Permalink

All the kiddies who were tuning into 'The O.C.' on Pacific Time are getting a big surprise - George II's mug on their tee-vee screen. We at the Pepper were just a-passing through with the remote, considering settling on 'Sportscenter,' but we screeched to a halt on Fox. Our stream of consciousness thoughts follow below:

Why must Fox take up one-third of the screen with their banner? Soon the Fox banner will be as large as George II's tiny, tiny head!

Ooooh ... Social Security. He talks about the impending mass baby boomer retirement and says, "I happen to be one of them." No, George II, you have never been one of the common herd.

More reassurance regarding Social Security and zero explanation of how we can get this done. So, seniors and the disabled will still get their checks (said with a smile, why?), and low-income workers will get more than high-income workers. How will we pay for said reforms? No talk of higher taxes. Where's the money gonna come from with that debt?

He dropped the ANWAR bomb. From the way he talks, you'd think drilling in Alaska would not only provide more natural resources but also cure the common cold.

Either George II is wearing blush, or he's blushing.

We love Terry Moran. He looks so annoyed all the time. He looks really annoyed when George II uses sports language like "We will stay on the offense." You think you're Brett Favre or somethin'?

"We can't trust the Iranians when it come to enriching uranium." A scary but melodious statement. He makes "Iranian" sound like "uranium." The words merge together until Americans respond to the sound like Pavlov's dogs. Iranian. Uranium. Say them together ten times fast.

That's hard.

He's raising his voice when talking about John Bolton. The red is creeping up. "The UN needs reform!" Yeah, John Bolton's idea of reform is destroying the UN altogether.

He's yammering. Refrigerator break.

His country accent fades when he's angry. When he yells, he is pure Northeastern.

Those oranges look old. Should we eat them?

Back to the ownership theme.

"Why should ownership be confined only to rich people?" Translation: "Why should rich people be responsible for you poor losers?"

"You ought to have the right to set up a personal savings account." Most people don't know how money works. The mere thought of making more money will prompt people to turn their cash over to Uncle Sam. And if they retire on a bad stock day, they're screwed. Excuse the language.

The orange still tastes good.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Chevy Chase were still young and funny? He would have gone to town with a George II impersonation.

"I'm sure there's some people who don't like me." This reminds us of the cartoon on our coworker's desk in which a large elephant wails "no fair!" when a Democrat threatens him with a stick.

"There's a lot of politics in that town." BECAUSE IT'S THE NATION'S CAPITOL, DIPSTICK. Where's there's politicians, there will be politics. The dumbest criticism in the world is "you're getting too political." He just said, "I don't want to politicize this issues." Gee, George II, we don't think you can help it. You're president. That's your job.

He always calls Rice "Condi," but he refers to men by their proper, last names. He should call her "Dr. Rice," with full-on respect. He's talking about her as if she were a beloved pet. C'mere, Condi, c'mere. We're not fans of Condoleezza Rice, never have been, but she is DR. RICE, thank you very much.

No child left behind. He doesn't know a dang thing about it. "The measurement is showing progress ... we expect the states to show us whether or not they are meeting objectives." He's talking about spending money at the federal level. Our collective ass. Yes, cussing at the Pepper. No child left behind is an unfunded mandate. States are paying out of their own pockets. He's defensive regarding the teacher's lawsuit. His accent is careening all over the place.

"I've heard some states say they don't like it ... if you teach a child to read and write, it shouldn't bother you to measure! ... let's change the attitude!" Just like Ah-nold, he's blaming the teachers. Here's to hoping that the teachers will bite George II in the butt just the way they're nailing Ah-nold. How dare he. Teachers work harder than anyone. Perhaps kids can't read because their parents are checked out, there are too many kids in each class (no teacher can have more than 20 kids in a class, tops; we know from personal experience).

Then again, George II is smart to blame the teachers. They're too busy grading, prepping their lesson plans, and defending themselves against violent students. They don't have time to talk back.

"I dont' wanna cut into some of these tee-vee shows that are getting ready to air - for the sake of the economy."

That was a joke, right? Oh, no. "The Simple Life" is next. The beast that is Paris Hilton must be indulged.

On the proposed levels of Social Security benefits: "Don't get personal here, Hutch! That was a cheap shot!" He wasn't insulting you, George II, he was insulting Cheney. Or have you two become one person?

They just cut off the rebroadcast in favor of "The Simple Life." Our society is disintegrating entirely. That's NOT hot.

Posted by Pepper at 09:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I just finished watching five Run-D.M.C. videos in a row. And, if you must know, it was a delightful experience.

So delightful, that I want to ask, what in heck is wrong with these nu-metal creeps? Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Korn, Poor Spellerz, etc. Run-D.M.C. and Aerosmith were the rap-rock match made in heaven, and the nu-metallers of today have wrecked all that was clever about Run-D.M.C.'s work. Now it's just whining about chicks and beer and hotdogs. I don't have a hot dog! (insert garbled background rapping here.)

Do I sound like a cranky old lady? Am I going to start griping out "these kids today" next?

Jam Master Jay, RIP.

Posted by Pepper at 02:31 PM | Permalink

... We Salute You.

Who has the most devoted groupies? Academics or rock stars?

The answer may surprise you. When Slavoj Zizek and his Party Posse rolled into San Francisco to promote "Zizek!," a documentary about his work, the crowd at the Roxie Theater looked more like the audience for an emo show than for a Lacanian-Marxist critic who bears a strong resemblance to a constipated bear.

A smokin' hot drummer he ain't, but he made some excellent points regarding America's belief in the "real self."

By "real me," Zizek refers to America's attachment to seeing people "as they really are," as they are with their masks off. Or, in Zizek's case, with their clothes off. At one point in the film, Zizek lollygags in a hotel bed without his shirt on and talks straight into the camera about one of his many concepts.

After the documentary, Zizek dismissed his "openness" as a trick - he reminded us that just because we saw him lying in bed, seemingly relaxed, doesn't mean we know him any better. Then again, he could have been regretting how he looked on the screen because he watched the film along with the rest of us, and that scene earned more than a few giggles.

But the idea is worth remembering. Zizek said, "What I don't like about America is the cult of self-experience." Zizek blazes past his concepts into the next big thing, which is why he's an academic rock star and why we at the Pepper are not, but we've been mulling over this idea for a few days.

Americans as a whole love it when stars, semi-stars, or poli-stars reveal their "real selves." The "Barbara Walters Interview" always receives huge ratings because we can see someone who is somehow better or bigger than we are act more like ... us. Of course it's an act. Of course we don't know them any better. What these stars are offering is what they think we as viewers want to see.

Politicians in particular love to unleash their "real selves" on the world. The populace tends to like George II's "real self" better than John Kerry's. John Kerry revealed the wrong "real self"; that, or, he wasn't comfortable at playing this "real self."

What's to be remembered is that there's no such thing as a "real self." We present masks of ourselves to those around us and change the masks as necessary. Otherwise, we would get into fisticuffs all the time. For example, we at the Pepper almost bopped one smug Zizek fanboy for asking, "How does it feel to be frontman of your own rock band?" but we had our polite mask on, and we chose against it.

For more about Zizek's stop in San Francisco, check out what Palace Family Steak House had to say because he/she/them/it seems to have been paying more attention than we were - or at least they weren't distracted by the shirtless scene.

Posted by Pepper at 09:45 PM | Permalink

Two days ago, we at the Pepper were crammed into a MUNI train headed for SBC/PacBell/CorporateMerger Park because of the San Francisco Giants game.

We at the Pepper were listening to a young woman squealing, "Oh! I'm falling over, and I'm not even drunk yet!" and rolling our eyes when said eye-roll led to a strange and unusual sight in San Francisco.

A young man was hunkered over a copy of Ann Coulter's Treason.

In San Francisco? City of the Moonbats? (Credit given to Bedrock Truth, who doesn't like us Moonbats, but who has coined a pretty handy phrase.)

We would have recognized the book if the Coulter-reader hadn't removed the dustjacket. Perhaps he was afraid he would receive a Moonbat Butt-Whuppin. Perhaps he was afraid of smudging Coulter's iconic visage. Perhaps he was ashamed of himself.

But we have manners in San Francisco. We at the Pepper didn't sneer or turn up our noses or step on his feet when getting off the train. We're nice people. Now, we've received some angry stares at the Denver airport for reading Al Franken's book, but we don't play that game.

In short, young man, if you want to read Ann Coulter, then by golly, read her. But read her proudly! Be brave, be bold, and read that Ann Coulter book!

Then again, he might discover that Moonbats will leave him alone and, hence, aren't that bad after all.

Posted by Pepper at 09:05 PM | Permalink

As if things couldn't get worse for California schools, Bay Area public schools are about to get 665,000 free CDs as part of an antitrust settlement between record companies and the states.

Instead of a chunk of real money - as in, the $143 million from the settlement -that could go to something radical like textbooks, the record companies are paying out the settlement with CDs they can't sell. This doesn't set the best precedent for large companies who must pay out lawsuits. What next? Will automotive companies "pay" their settlements with steering wheels, passenger seats, and cupholders?

A list of the CDs the kids will have access to can be found here. Three copies of a Barry White CD are going to one lucky school. Other schools are getting Michael Bolton and Celine Dion CDs, which indicates that record companies hate children. It's seen as cruel to threaten kids with paddling, but I for one might take paddling over having to listen to "She Bangs" anytime.

Posted by Pepper at 03:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

For some reason, we at the Pepper can't seem to stay away from the toilet. The last Macrame Award went to the Big John Toilet Seat (and Newsweek's breathy coverage of said throne).

Yesterday, Dr. Pepper forwarded us a call for papers for a book collection called

Toilet Papers: The Gendered Construction of Public Toilets

Hum. We have a few suggested titles for the collection:

1. When to Stop Squeezing the Charmin
2. Layers of Meaning: From One- to Two-Ply
3. Splash-Back and the Leap of Faith
4. For a Good Time Call: Toilet Graffiti as Art
5. 'Readers' Digest' As a Genre

We at the Pepper don't intend to torment the authors, for they are attempting a serious study of the gender binary and issues of privacy, but how could we resist?

Posted by Pepper at 10:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This morning, Jerry Springer made his debut on the local Air America station. The show was okay, but not quite as lively as "Morning Sedition" with Mark and Mark.

If you're local, or if you get JS in your area, tune in to hear the same man who paraded adult babies across his stage use the word "crass" to describe the state of current politics. It's priceless.

Posted by Pepper at 08:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Good news, kids. You can eat Wendy's chili again. The police arrested that lady out in Nevada, after a "CSI-style" investigation that determines the finger wasn't cooked at the same temperature as the chili.

As we said, we thought it was Strange Brew all along. We never imagined that it might be a little Texas Chainsaw Massacre II thrown in. If that lady is crazy enough to bite into a finger for a couple grand, she should be tossed into an institution instead of the pokey.

But, hey, we're glad it's over. The ghost of Dave Thomas is glad it's over. And Lloyd LaCuesta is probably glad it's over, too.

Maybe that means we can hear some real news now. Naaaaah ...

ps - Thanks for the headline, Mike!

Posted by Pepper at 10:23 PM | Permalink

So I bought the issue of Time with Ann Coulter on the cover. She's a sloppy researcher and an even worse writer, but I thought that I might find out how an ordinary female became the media monolith known as Ann Coulter.

I will warn all Ann Coulter haters of the following: This article does not discuss Ann's appearance. The blogosphere has gone to town regarding Ann's cover photo. If you want to see how people link Ann Coulter to a towel rack and more, read the brilliant captions over at Rox Populi.

Instead of stopping at the cover, I held my nose and read the whole dang article. No one is going to say that the Daily Pepper doesn't try to understand the other side.

I read that article looking for genuine insight. What made Ann so conservative? What was the crystallizing, transformative moment that made her start thinking libs were sending this nation to hell in a handbasket? What turned a woman into a mouthpiece for an ideology that would put men on the cover of Time and Coulter back in the kitchen?

John Cloud, who Eric Alterman rightfully savages for "lazy and credulous" reporting, teaches us very little about Coulter except for the following:

1. Some feel that she lives on chardonnay and cigarettes, and Cloud can vouch that she lives on Nicorette as well.
2. She thinks she's absolutely hilarious and that we libs just aren't "getting" her sense of humor. (As for that, I will always say that I read Lileks and giggle. I read the late Lewis Grizzard, who is one of the funniest men alive but who sure as heck wasn't a lib. I don't think that Lileks or the late Lewis would have thought "You Are Now Free to Move About the Cabin - Not So Fast, Mohammed!" was funny. That ain't funny. Is that funny? You talking to me?)
3. She tried to hide her age. She's 44, but she refers to herself as a "girl" in the article.
4. She made two feminist arguments in her life. Wow.

As to how Coulter became so conservative, the article is coy. She had two older brothers and engaged in dinner-table "argy-bargy." At Cornell, she began to "explore conservatism," but she doesn't really say what motivated her, other than the fact that she didn't like liberals and moderates. She wrote one of her feminist arguments at the same time, but then the author drops the subject and continues to wax rhapsodic about the "spindle-shanked blonde."

After reading that hayride of an article, I now have a new project, which is figuring out what makes women like Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Karen Hughes, and the whole lot of 'em act against their own interests. Why are they setting out to undo all the good that feminism has done for women? It's one thing to be a conservative female, it's even one thing to be a conservative female voting Bush, but it's quite another matter to go out and spread such violently anti-woman beliefs.

I was just browsing the Coulter archive over at Townhall, and she kicks off one article with the line

"How many people have to die before the country stops humoring feminists?"

Well, your readers are humoring you. So maybe you shouldn't stop asking. Maybe you should thank feminists 'cause they're why you're being read at all. Unless you don't want your fans to read you, and that would cut down on all the money you make off those quickie books.

Anybody have any ideas what makes her tick?

Posted by Pepper at 10:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

We at the Pepper have great friends. Yesterday, Supermattalica sent us an e-mail with the header "Pepper Material If I've Ever Seen It." Inside was a link to a Salon interview with Richard Florida, author of The Flight of the Creative Class.

Florida's argument is that creative types are flocking to the same cities (New York, Los Angeles, our beloved San Francisco, Seattle), and now more of them are leaving for other nations as well. The creative talent in the heartland is drying up, leaving husks of cities once reliant on manufacturing but unable to think of a new approach.

As a result, the United States economy will continue to suffer from a dearth of new ideas, and relations between the heartland and the coasts, or city and country, are at an all-time nadir because the Court of George II has capitalized on the scared, confused people who think that the "creative class" - read, gay people and Hollywood liberals - looks down upon them.

Now, Salon gets it wrong when they call the article "The Gay/Hipster Index." Not all gays and hipsters are creative. The real issue is the toleration of difference, whether the difference be in sexuality, skin tone, or plumb crazy ideas. We at the Pepper like to think the issue is nerds and most people's hatred of them.

Take a state like Mississippi. When a person doesn't feel respected, what do they do? Leave. The smart kids leave. We at the Pepper have blogged about this before regarding Iowa. You can't drive away all the smart people and then ask, "Why is everyone leaving?"

We at the Pepper wrote a post about how Iowa tried to keep the creative class in the state by dropping the state income tax for anyone under 30. As we at the Pepper said at the time, "Oh, and this tax cut will save an under-30 in Iowa 12 bucks a week. Even though that will amount to more the more you earn, big fat deal. Wow. We at the Pepper are impressed. Where do we sign up?"

We at the Pepper said that maybe if small-towners treated creative people with some manners, they might ... stay. And vice versa. We at the Pepper freely admit to looking down on red-staters, but it's not right to lump all people outside the "creative" cities together. Bad taste is universal, right?

Florida argues that there's a class divide separating the "creative cities" from everyone else, and both sides need to start communicating with each other. That's precisely what the Court of George II doesn't want because that's how they won the election.

The best way to bring about understanding is to make the major jobs in the heartland mean a little more than they currently do, and that involves improving working conditions.

Florida writes:

"Instead of bemoaning low-wage service jobs and then just talking about restoring manufacturing and dealing with outsourcing, someone somewhere has to say that the real key to the future is to make these service jobs good jobs. [emphasis ours] I mean that's the real policy point -- the service economy, which represents 40 to 45 percent of the lowest paying jobs in our economy with the least protection, has to become part of the creative economy. We have to change those jobs in the way industrial jobs were once changed from being terrible jobs to being good jobs."

This point is key. Why can't we make service jobs better? Why can't service workers have higher wages? Make them good jobs that people might actually want. Let's admit it - America runs on a service instead of a manufacturing base.

People get bitter in the low-wage sector because they feel looked down upon. And they will lash out at those who have it better than they do. Is it a coincidence that gay people are one of the richest minority groups in America and are despised by so many low-wage workers? We at the Pepper don't think so.

Posted by Pepper at 06:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So, the Republicans, who crave a quick fix for everything these days, are willing to destroy a tradition that once allowed a political figure to stand up for something? Literally. They could stand up for hours and hours about something.

Sigh. Jimmy Stewart rolls in his grave.

If the Republicans are successful at eliminating the filibuster, we at the Pepper predict that they will come to regret that move. Eventually, the Democrats will return to power, and the Republicans will feel like they can't express their opinions either. They'll wish they had that filibuster back, if only to stick a needle in the side of the donkey, if only to give their opponents a really late night.

This debate over the filibuster smacks of the do-it-today, worry-about-it-tomorrow mentality of the George II Republicans. If we're not careful, we'll all be thinking of a functional democracy as something expressed only in movies.

Posted by Pepper at 04:44 PM | Permalink

A while back, we at the Pepper posted Patrick Swayze's mantras in one of our favorite B-movies, Roadhouse.

"I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."

Well, the service workers of UC banded together to make the UC sob like a baby last week. Dr. Pepper delivered a full report regarding the AFSCME strike and how the service workers and TAs of Berkeley made the entire school - including the chancellor - take notice.

Not being nice paid off because THE UC OFFERED THE SERVICE WORKERS A CONTRACT! YEAH!

Alley Rat describes the nature of the contract and analyzes why the UC caved. Her headline is "I'm so excited I could pee my pants."

We at the Pepper couldn't agree more!

Posted by Pepper at 02:05 PM | Permalink

In Nashville, during my college years, I spent months in a dank, foul-smelling basement apartment with four (sometimes five, sometimes six, depending on who was drunk) other students. We were poor research assistants in the humanities. We lived off Whoppers and Pop Tarts. One of us was clever enough to live off a mix of Campbells' Condensed Corn Chowder and Cream of Chicken Soups.

This basement was so foul that one day a bat chased two friends of mine down a hallway. The damage - from both bat and human - was irreparable.

Not once did we consider hiring a maid service.

But two enterprising Harvard students have developed a program called DormAid, where college students who have the cash can hire maids to clean up after them.

The Harvard Crimson and the Daily Show have mopped up floors with DormAid, rightfully saying that the business was "creating yet another differential between the haves and have-nots on campus." (The Daily Show wasn't that eloquent - they asked about the Guatamalans doing the cleaning.)

In-Joke put it another way: "Another gentle reminder of who is being trained to own the Plantation and who is being paid minimum wage to keep it spotless."

The "cleaning professionals" wiping up after sloppy college kids are clearly losing out, but so are the students who hire DormAid.

A big part of the college experience is growing up and living on your own. In terms of hygeine, you learn how much filth you can tolerate. Eventually, you come to terms with your mess and you learn how to PICK UP AFTER YOUR SELF.

What if these affluent Harvard kids suddenly find themselves in a position in which they - gasp! - don't have money immediately at hand? What will they do without a maid?

They'll live. And they can test their chemistry skills by figuring out how to remove that mustard stain from the carpet.

And I don't like the idea of some people feeling that picking up after themselves is "beneath" them. It makes me see red. (That wasn't intended to be a Communist joke - really!) I worked minimum wage, and I cleaned up after truckers. You haven't known cleaning until you've cleaned up trucker bathrooms. No, it wasn't fun. But I can take care of myself, and I can appreciate a good strong disinfectant. And I learned that truckers, as a whole, are far more polite and tidy than the so-called "upper class."

I hope to write more about DormAid in the future. I e-mailed them for more information. I didn't give my opinion on the matter, but I did ask how much cleaning professionals made per hour, what percentage of the profit they took home, and if tipping was allowed or expected. If these budding CEOs find the time to write me back, I'll let you know!

Posted by Pepper at 07:22 AM | Permalink

A priceless headline in today's Washington Post:

Giving Fatherhood Some Pop

Last night, Laura Bush gave a speech at the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI)awards gala, where corporations received awards for promoting positive images of fathers, as if it were cool for corporations to be telling Americans how to live.

Fathers are about to get very, very pop. The NFI is poised for a full-court media press. They've got the dough, as Scaife is one of the backers. The NFI is also part of the Court of King George II's "faith-based initiatives." I could critique the NFI on the grounds that it violates the separation of church and state and the civil rights of gay people (which it does), but I'll start small and investigate this glorification of the father and denunciation of the single mom.

First, if having a father around is so important, then why wasn't George II there? I mean, this is the softer stuff that falls in Queen Laura's domain, but George II is a father. I sure would love to hear his suggestions for discipline regarding underage drinking. (I know, ad hominem argument, but calling for a father to attend a gala praising fathers isn't ridiculous.)

A while back, Feministe had an excellent post explaining the real challenges facing single-parent households:

Single parenthood is not disastrous. Research “confirming” that single parenthood is disastrous seeks to validate assertions of immoral behavior instead of exploring the evidence, evidence showing that poverty is the primary reason that single parents experience more “failure” in their parenting, than the lack of a second adult figure in the home. Simply stated, two paychecks bring more opportunity to children than one paycheck, but marriage alone does not guarantee economic stability.

Feministe is a single mom and knows of what she speaks. I'm glad to see that Queen Laura is encouraging more parental responsibility, but I'm tired of single-parent homes being painted as disasters waiting to happen. The NFI glosses over the economic problems of living in a single-parent household and turns single parenting into a matter of morals.

Morals are easy to dictate, and moralizing wins over voters, but sitting down and thinking about society's overall responsibility to its children is tougher. We can't assume that everything will be okay just because both the father and mother are around. I was lucky. I had two loving parents around all the time, but plenty of two-parent households are downright dysfunctional.

Another criticism I have of the father frenzy is that it puts women in the position - yet again - of needing to be rescued. Why can't we as a society give young women the tools and knowledge to protect themselves?

I grew up in an area where teen pregnancy was common. When yet another girl got pregnant, people would grumble, "She coulda said no" and would lay the blame on the woman. The sad truth was that many of these girls didn't know any better since sex ed was limited to abstinence education, and many of these girls were preyed upon by significantly older men. Sure, some of them knew better, but it's a logical fallacy to assume that all of them did.

Isn't the entire community responsible if one child gets pregnant? Shouldn't parents know where their kids go at night? I know of at least one pregnancy that was the result of a girl sneaking out to meet an older boyfriend. Shouldn't everyone keep an eye out on their kids the next time that twenty-five-year-old is cruising the fifteen-year-olds? (Or twelve-year-olds, which I've seen.)

Remember Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey) in Dazed and Confused who said, "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age"?

You laugh, but that dude is out there cruising, and he isn't as genetically blessed as Matthew McConaughey.

One last question: Why can't we ask adults to grow up and act like "parents" instead of asking women to act like "mothers" and men to act like "fathers"?

Posted by Pepper at 02:08 PM | Permalink

... even the Republicans are backing away from you as if you smell like skunk.

Here's what Republican Voinovich had to say about Knuckle-Dragger Extraordinaire John Bolton:

I've heard enough today that I don't feel comfortable about voting for Mr. Bolton. I think, one, his interpersonal skills and their relationship with their fellow man, is a very important ingredient in anyone that works for me. I call it the kitchen test ... and I've heard enough today that gives me real concern about Mr. Bolton.

In any kitchen test, Bolton would burn water!

We at the Pepper know that politics is not a game for nice guys, but listen to what one ex-employee has to say about Bolton:

When I was dispatching a letter to AID, my hell began. Mr. Bolton proceeded to chase me through the halls of a Russian hotel, throwing things at me, shoving threatening letters under my door, and genuinely behaving like a madman. I eventually retreated to my hotel room and stayed there. Mr. Bolton then routinely visited me to pound on the door and shout threats.

Now, we at the Pepper have had a seriously mean and crazy boss (long ago, thankfully). But Bolton takes the cake! The UN involves diplomacy, and chasing, throwing, shoving, pounding, and shouting is not the kind of behavior that we'd like to represent us!

And thanks to Remove Republicans for the links!

Posted by Pepper at 03:31 PM | Permalink

We at the Pepper were at work, and this is what happens when you work in pop (or is it Pope?) culture:

Coworker #1: We have a Pope!
Pepper and others get up and RUN to see CNN. Wolf is doing his thang, interrupting the action as usual.

Cardinal Jorge Arturo Medina Estevez emerges to announce the pope. Those of us not schooled in popery think that he's the pope.

Coworker #2: Old white guy. Big surprise there!
Coworker #3: No, that's not the pope. That's the warm-up act! (Those hoping for the Nigerian guy take heart.)

Estevez reads in Latin and translates, "Brothers and sisters ..."

Coworker #3: Are you ready to par-tay?

(By this point, we at the Pepper are hoping we're not all going to hell in a handbasket.)

And then ... after all those melodious Latin words that sound so good rolling off the tongue of Estevez ... we hear the one non-melodious word:

RATZINGER

Well, glory be! Ratzinger it is! We at the Pepper didn't even pick him in the Fantasy Convocation League, just because, well, he is really, really old (try 78).

But old-school seems to be what they're looking for, as he is a fierce traditionalist. Those of you hoping for a better diplomatic relationship between the Vatican and the uterus, you'll have to wait until the next pope.

Oh, and since CNN has been treating the pope's election in even worse taste than we at the Pepper, we are expecting a special "" segment in which Toure and pals wax giddy over Ratzinger, now known as Pope Benedict XVI.

Posted by Pepper at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

As Mothra swoops in, Godzilla swats her away, but that Mothra, she's persistent, and she doesn't give up.

Neither does the Oakland Tribune.

Right after we at the Pepper wrote about how the Chron and the Trib live in parallel universes, we spotted a headline on the Trib's website, posted Saturday:

Bridge builder's new flack a true PR virtuoso

Them's fightin' words! And who is this "flack," pray tell? Why none other than Chris Lehane. Back in the days when we at the Pepper were running Presidential Candy, Lehane was the heartbreaking strategist who ditched John Kerry at his lowest and ran off for greener pastures (if you can call Wesley Clark greener pastures).

Lehane is a hired gun extraordinaire. He also worked for Clinton and Gore, but progressives can't stand him. His chief skill is making his employer's opponents look bad, and he's had equal-opportunity targets, like Bill Bradley and George II. We at the Pepper are nervous that Lehane is going to turn his wrath on the workers who reported KFM Joint Venture in the first place.

Lehane's price tag also won't make anyone happy. When he was working for Gray Davis during the 2001 energy crisis, Lehane and his wingman, Mark Fabiani, were making $30,000 a month. They're probably making even more with KFM ... oh, and isn't that part of our tax money?

This is what we at the Pepper call a BIG DEAL. Naturally, the Chron would want to get into the act, wouldn't it?

Not so. Instead, the Chron buried the Lehane hiring in the Matier & Ross political gossip column, which swatted aside the complaints, saying they were originally about working conditions and not worth the fuss.

Sample line: "Apprentice welder Gustave Link ... was only complaining about what he thought were dangerous working conditions at the bridge site."

"Only complaining." We at the Pepper assume that M&R don't have to cross the bridge every day - otherwise, wouldn't they want the men and women working on the bridge feeling safe and comfy instead of scared as crap and therefore careless? (And we at the Pepper love the "only complaining" in reference to working conditions. We're surprised M&R didn't say "kvetching" instead.)

About Lehane, M&R and the Chron had this to say: "The joint venture contractor, KFM, has hired high-powered PR consultant Chris Lehane (mouthpiece for the likes of Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Michael Moore and Marion Jones) to help deal with the political fallout."

End of story.

Mothra ain't going away, Matier and Ross. This story will get bigger - why else would KFM have hired someone known for dirty politics as their PR guy? - and Mothra is going to win the battle.

Posted by Pepper at 10:06 PM | Permalink

Remember Godzilla vs. Mothra? When the big lumbering beast does battle with the lighter and more efficient monster moth?

Well, now we at the Pepper have discovered a new tale: Chron vs. Trib. (Guess which one is the lumbering beast!)

The San Francisco Chronicle and the Oakland Tribune seem to be covering two different stories whenever they talk about the probe into welding on the Bay Bridge.

On Thursday, April 14, inspectors hired by Caltrans (which, by the way, is on the defense) explored five welds on the new span and found them sturdy.

As always, in journalism, interpretation makes the story, and the Chron and the Trib didn't see eye to eye.

Both papers wrote up brief treatments of the inspection results, but the Trib pointed out that the inspection methods may have had positive results because they didn't go deep enough: "The inspections were done on Box 4, using visual and magnetic particle testing ... Both methods, however, are unable to detect problems more than a quarter-inch below the surface of welds."

When asked about the methods, the Caltrans spokesman responded, ""They're not done, not by any means."

The Chron was on another planet regarding the "magnetic particle testing," in that they called it "sophisticated" as opposed to superficial.

The Chron's story was longer, and they talked to more people, and explained that the inspections involved one of the major support columns for the bridge. Buried in the middle of the story was the line, "It is one of only four support column foundations that has not already been covered with concrete."

And is one support column supposed to be representative for all the others? Call us picky, but we at the Pepper would like all the bridge columns to be welded perfectly.

Posted by Pepper at 12:58 PM | Permalink

You know a band and its audience is aging just by the venue it chooses to play. An ad for the Konocti Harbor Resort and Spa "on beautiful Clear Lake" has an amazing lineup of "Where are they now?" bands, including Lynyrd Skynyrd, Foghat, ZZ Top, and Quiet Riot.

We at the Pepper asked, over our morning cups of tea, "What on earth is Southern rednecker hick-rock act Lynyrd Skynyrd doing performing at a 'resort and spa'? Contradiction, anyone?"

So we visited the Konocti website, where they promised that you can "Feel the tension dissolve under the touch of a trained professional massage therapist ..."

... and then go scream 'Free Bird' to your heart's delight? Okay, seeing Huey Lewis and the News after a shiatsu treatment makes sense ... that's all very adult contemporary, but Skynyrd? Sure, the spa might be for the wifey and the Skynyrd for hubby, but the fact that it's all available under one roof is a little odd, dontcha think?

PS - we at the Pepper saw the real rock band Silkworm Friday night. They were so real that one of the band members stripped down to his boxers to play drums, which was quite a sight. And the audience was so classy ... not one person screamed "Play some Skynyrd!"

Posted by Pepper at 12:15 PM | Permalink

... these folks have to pay to park (yes, finding room for the Klingon spaceship in Golden Gate Park in Star Trek IV was easier than parking your ordinary vehicle around UC Berkeley), and you have a serious financial crisis on your hands.

Or, Dr. Pepper, a serious intergalactic crisis! Do you think there would be room for the Enterprise on Sproul?

Posted by Pepper at 09:50 AM | Permalink

Hi there! It’s Daily Pepper’s friendly collaborator Dr. Pepper, filing a little report from the micro-political sphere. Yesterday afternoon I took part in a one-day strike at the University of California, Berkeley. As a grad student instructor (and hence as a member of the UAW--registration being mandatory), I was asked to honor the picket line, refusing to cross it or to teach my Thursday classes. I decided to join the picketing workers out of conscience. In this entry I’ll try to explain why I joined them.

The union on strike was the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees Local 3299, which has about 730 employees at Berkeley. As has been widely reported, the strike threat was a response to UC’s failure to pay service workers a living wage, or one commensurate with those at comparable institutions, such as those in the CSU and state community college system. In fact, service workers are paid 15 percent less than those in the California State University system, 26 percent less than those in community colleges. In absolute terms, the average service worker’s annual compensation is less than $17,000 a year. The strike had strong support from State Assemblymember Wilma Chan and Berkeley mayor Tom Bates (who promised to speak at the rally but, ironically enough, got stuck in the traffic backup from we strikers walking the streets). In the midst of celebrating his inauguration as new Chancellor at Berkeley, Robert Birgeneau stepped out to meet with us, stating, “I know that, since I grew up living on a minimum wage, what it’s like to scrape by on an absolutely minimal salary.” (There was a somewhat silly moment when a student working in one of the dining halls objected to Birgeneau’s pay, stating, “I don’t even know what the hell the chancellor does anyway,” but in general all of the speakers were on topic.)

What accounts for the difference in wages for UC workers? Certainly no distinction in the kind of work that these folks (mostly janitors and residence hall dining workers) do. When it comes to cleaning toilets, there’s nothing very special about working for Berkeley. While all cafeterias and bathrooms are alike, it’s actually worse for those employees struggling to get by in a community where the average home price is over 600K. Many of the folks who spoke at yesterday’s rally have kids, and need to live an hour’s drive outside Berkeley in order to find a place to live. Add to that increasing gas prices and the fact that these folks have to pay to park (yes, finding room for the Klingon spaceship in Golden Gate Park in Star Trek IV was easier than parking your ordinary vehicle around UC Berkeley), and you have a serious financial crisis on your hands. Another of the workers spoke at the rally about her daughter, a high-school senior who decided she can’t afford to go to the university where her mom works. (Today, April 15, is the due date not just for those 1040s, but for an even bigger form: that which indicates where students are going to go to college.) Much of the blame for the poverty of these workers must rest on the shoulders of the University; they have decided to allocate a smaller part of their budget on paying these folks. Compare a UC Berkeley bathroom to a bathroom at one of the CalStates I’ve seen and you’ll immediately notice the difference: the Berkeley one is cleaned far less often, is much more likely to be closed, and in general is only slightly preferable to the ARCO station on University Ave.

The excellent CalStuff blog has strong coverage of the whole strike, and I don’t think I could add much in the way of general reportage. While AFSCME’s case seems pretty clear, I think it would be worthwhile to explain why I as a teacher would take part in an event that may not appear to concern me. I can see the objection that, as a teacher, I have the luxury to participate in an event that would be comparatively much more painful for others. In more time-intensive professions like driving a bus, staying away from work for one day would meet with retribution. I acknowledge the difference, but I do think that the gap between service workers and intellectual labor can be exaggerated.

A bit of history to explain what I mean. In Fall 1998, graduate student employees across the campuses of the University successfully organized to gain recognition as a union. The coalition included people like me, who were employed by UC at the time, and sympathetic fellow grad students, such as the esteemed Pepper herself. In 1998 the issue was not about our wages or health benefits, our or about any aspect of our livelihood. It was much simpler: it concerned the university administration’s presumption that faculty should continue to exert total domination over grad students. This may sound like an overstatement, but it’s simply a summary of many administrators’ literally paternalistic response to the prospect of unionization. For instance, UC Irvine’s Dean of Graduate Studies, Frederick Wan, gave this response to the unionizers: “If the children want better pocket money, do the parents negotiate with them? Over the issue of whether they wash dishes and mow the lawn, should the parents bargain with them formally?” (Christian Science Monitor, 3 November 1998) And while speaking in a less polemical way, Robin Fisher, Associate Dean of Graduate Division at UCLA, diagnosed the issue in the same way: “The fundamental issues here are intergenerational conflicts....The authority resides with those folks who are older and more experienced, but the energy resides with those who are younger and who would like to have the authority” (Chronicle of Higher Education, 13 November 1998).

This parent-child metaphor was, of course, completely inaccurate as a description of the situation. While it might be possible (though hardly ideal) to make the relationship between faculty mentor and grad student resemble that between parent and child, it is inaccurate to say that grad students serving as instructors work for faculty. As teachers, graduate students work for the university at large. In my three courses no professor ever observed my classes or checked how my teaching was going, much less paid me an allowance out of his or her pocket. The issue was that, frankly, I don’t think Fred Wan or any other professor would want to assume the duties of a parent toward me. C’mon, Fred, aren’t you going to leave the light on for me?

My intent in telling this anecdote is that Fred Wan unintentionally got close to the heart of the matter. Instead of identifying us teachers with children, he should have compared us to other service workers, like gardeners (or, for that matter, cooks, janitors, or the other members of AFSCME). Since we don’t get the benefits of Dr. Wan’s fine parenting skills, I am thankful that we at least now get treated as workers who have a union to represent us. And therein lies our strength as recognized members of the university community.

Posted by DrPepper at 02:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

a. The suit who works for the credit card company
b. The impulse buyer who wasted her money on Hummelware
c. The honest worker who will save because people can no longer abuse the system
d. B-list actors who need a new product endorsement gig

It's a close call between a) and d) - because the credit card companies will have so much money thanks to the bill that they can hire not only David Spade but also Dennis Miller! David Spade's "no" jokes will be all over the television set.

You can thank your representatives for the impending B-list onslaught because they passed the bankruptcy bill today, and it's a fact that people who have just emerged from bankruptcy receive a flood of fresh, tempting credit card offers. The companies better roll out some new commercials!

Lawmakers who voted for the bill are beholden to industry (the Washington Post reports that the auto industry will benefit from the bill as well). They want to keep their campaign coffers full. Fine.

What bugs us like a whole hour's worth of David Spade is the way the Court of George II marketed the bill, as if Americans with credit card debt were little kids who need to be spanked.

The AP sums up the perception of debtors in this way: "But backers in Congress and the financial services industry argue that bankruptcy frequently is the last refuge of gamblers, impulsive shoppers, divorced or separated fathers avoiding child support, and multimillionaires - often celebrities - who buy mansions in states with liberal homestead exemptions to shelter assets from creditors."

But the rhetoric surrounding this bill indicates that a person who is poor is somehow morally as well as monetarily bankrupt. That attitude is dangerous because it allows for even more punitive legislation that will be supported by well-meaning people who think that the "tough love" will somehow motivate people to make more money.

We at the Pepper have no doubt that some people abuse bankruptcy. Some people are irresponsible with money. But not all people with high debt are at fault. Wasn't there a way to punish the lady who maxes out her cards on Hummels without punishing everyone else?

Shakespeare's Sister said in response to the bill's desire to pound big-spending celebs, "I can’t tell you how often I’ve thought about how important it was to screw single mothers, minorities, and the elderly ... just to make sure MC Hammer didn’t get to keep his mansion."

And besides, MC Hammer's doing just fine. He's got the Surreal Life, and, if he plays his cards right, he'll have a credit-card commercial in the future.

Posted by Pepper at 10:12 PM | Permalink

Free Frosty, my foot!

Poor Lloyd LaCuesta over at KTVU and other journalists at KRON and such have been forced to monitor the twists and turns of the infamous finger-in-the-Wendy's chili case.

It looked like something right out of Strange Brew to us, but people must be riveted by said finger. Ever since a lady took a bite of something special off the dollar menu, the news outlets have been right there. A Yahoo! news search for "Wendy's," "finger," and "chili" yielded 1,072 results. Now, those results are just mentions, and some may be duplicates of the same AP story, but it shows the finger has legs, so to speak, as a headline-grabber in other states.

Hiding in the shadows is the far more disturbing but less snazzy case of questionable welding in the reconstruction of the Bay Bridge that connects San Francisco to Oakland.

As mentioned earlier, the Oakland Tribune performed an exhaustive investigation into a tip off to the FBI that some welders were being paid off to hurry up the job so the contractor would avoid cost overruns.

Workers told the Oakland Tribune, which has the results of its in-depth investigation here, that the "$1.5 billion skyway held up by 160 steel legs" is "riddled with weak welds, because some supervisors ordered welders to hide defects."

If you live in the Bay Area, consider the article required reading.

According to the Trib, "In interviews or in testimony, welders describe a skyway worksite where KFM paid cash bonuses to hurry the job, leading to shoddy work and injury cover-ups."

Naturally, Caltrans wants to defend its decisions. "We've got good welds, good procedures and everything is in place to have a quality product. If a defect got in, we can't find it," said Caltrans project manager Pete Siegenthaler.

Of course he can't find it. No one can find it. The welds have already been poured over with concrete.

For that matter, few people can find the article. In a Yahoo! news search for "Bay Bridge" and "weld," there were only 103 results.

Granted, the story is fresher than the Wendy's chili (pun intended), but, if true, the Bay Bridge Bungle will endanger untold numbers of motorists and is costing taxpayers. As a taxpayer (we paid a few days ago), we at the Pepper don't mind paying for improvements to the Bay Bridge. But we're not paying for improvements to the KFM Joint Venture bank account.

In short, this story should be splashed ALL OVER the local television. Yet, while we at the Pepper were watching the morning news, we saw little Wendy's face staring back at us, the very image of evil.

Posted by Pepper at 09:38 PM | Permalink

Rox Populi asks visitors to confess their guilty cinematic pleasures. Much to our surprise and delight, several individuals confessed to a love of the Patrick Swayze classic Road House.

Given the passion for etiquette and good manners that drives us at the Pepper, we'd like to share some of Patrick Swayze's maxims from this classic:

"All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice."

"People who really want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse. And we've got entirely too many troublemakers here. Too many 40-year-old adolescents, felons, power drinkers and trustees of modern chemistry." (Sounds like the Court of King George II!)

And the ultimate line to remember when faced with an opponent:
"I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."

Posted by Pepper at 05:00 PM | Permalink

We at the Pepper must give Aitan Levy his propers - good salesmen see a need, and they fill it. But, wow, the nation's come to the point where they need this:

The "Big John" toilet seat claims to handle 1,200 pounds (wouldn't you like to see that infomercial??) and has become so popular it merits a Newsweek Periscope blurb - because Periscope loves to bring serious national matters (the appointment of Knuckle-Dragger Nominee John Bolton) and the mundane (roomier toilet seats) to the same level.

Some people might actually need and like a larger toilet seat, and Big John mentions senior citizens and the disabled. And they should have one. Makes sense to us. But this product is clearly marketed to the supersized with the classic line:

Let's face it why would anyone squeeze into coach when they could ease into first class.

(That's their punctuation, not ours.) The attainment of a toilet seat is not a sign of entering the upper echelons. A sure sign of marketing to the proles and border-proles is to convince them that a mark of their proleness - as weight is often considered to be - is actually upper class.

Posted by Pepper at 08:57 PM | Permalink

I spent the entire weekend watching the Masters golf tournament. Three roars for Tiger, but I was rooting for Katayama and his cowboy hat.

After a weekend at work, I didn't have the chance to get into full-on "we at the Pepper" mode, so I'll mention some good reads that took my mind off golf:

1. David "My So-Called Academic Bill of Rights" Horowitz got a pie in the face - and he acted all surprised and offended. He should know that when you treat other people like babies, they'll treat you like a baby. Ryan, a guest-blogger at Feministe and Liberal Avenger treat the pie incident in depth. I hope Horowitz got something good and chocolatey, as that will be hard to wash out ...

2. Remove Republicans is whipping up Rotisserie DeLay with a prediction that the United States government will finally be rid of DeLay in 2006. Even Rick Santorum is saying "let the people judge for themselves." Translated from Republican-speak into English, that means, "he's on his own."

3. I would rank it higher if I knew more, but this Bay Bridge welding mess is looking ugly. Even the Governator and the FBI are involved. Cheers to the Oakland Tribune for keeping tabs on the pols and the construction team, KFM Joint Ventures, which you'll be hearing more about in the future if the allegations about poorly done work are true.

Posted by Pepper at 10:20 PM | Permalink

"Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me" had a scathingly brilliant moment about our favorite prole pop star:

Aamer Haleem, in response to the news that Britney Spears held a meeting of her extended family in face of the fact that her dog might be committing incest, said:

"I'd love to know where they held that meeting ... Sizzler?"

Speaking of lowbrows who don't know they've sunk to the bottom, check this out:

Didn't we at the Pepper just post about "Bridezilla"?

To be fair, Camilla looked good with the exception of that twig like THING on top of her head. Even Pepper's parents - who once compared Camilla to a four-legged animal - said she looked good. But that twiggy THING! Why are Americans such Anglophiles?

Posted by Pepper at 11:48 AM | Permalink

I've been watching golf all day. Golf, golf, golf.

Speaking of scoring, rumor has it there's a naughty Jenna Bush tape floating round. Because I'm so classy, I don't want to be gross, but I will say this ...

Slate had a wonderful article about how permissive parenting falls into the domain of the Court of George II.

Now, I won't say that pushover parents are exclusive Democrat or Republican, but take a look at the wealthier parents across the land, ones who feel that cash solves any family dispute. Also, fun parents has a certain lowbrow appeal, as Ann Hulbert wrote:

But there's a reason the campaign goes ahead and flaunts the "when we were young and irresponsible, we were young and irresponsible" ethos that the twins displayed at the convention: It has the anti-elitist appeal the party assumes its Red state base thrives on. Filtered through a populist prism, such an attitude needn't suggest decadence; it can convey a spirit of down-home, defiant independence. After all, studiousness and parental pushiness, however virtuous, are also part of the pointy-headed approach to life. To snub TV is snobby, and adult hypervigilance can look like a lot like elitist cosseting. You can see the cultural contradictions of populism at work: Hit the books is not presumed to be what Joe Six-Pack wants to hear.

In a culture in which luck and bloodlines are rewarded over hard work, this certainly makes sense.

I seriously doubt the Gore girls would have any tapes floating around if their daddy became prez.

Posted by Pepper at 07:47 PM | Permalink

Today's been all about sports ... monitoring the fantasy baseball league and betting on who will win the Masters.

If the tee-vee networks can turn the selection of the next pope into a horse race, why can't we at the Pepper?

After all, NBC's Brian Williams, who might be a betting man, called the selection of the late pope John Paul a "shocker." We've even seen terms such as "front-runner" bandied about. So, let's meet some of the teams ... wait ... cardinals who may be pope:

(insert humming of "Rocky" theme here)

Representing Africa, Rev. Francis Arinze!

Straight outta Sao Paulo is Cláudio Hummes.

The old-school reps are the Italian posse - Angelo Scola and Dionigi Tettamanzi!

And the dark horse is the Austrian (remember, we're Austrians Against Arnold, gotta have an Austrian) Christoph Schonborn.

There's more - set up the brackets anyway you like, and you too can have a Fantasy Convocation League!

Now that we're over the shock, we'll take the team name "The Popemobiles," and we'll go with Cláudio Hummes to take it all. And you?

Posted by Pepper at 08:36 PM | Permalink

We at the Pepper ...

(or just "I at the Pepper," since it's been an issue)

... are proud to announce the MACRAME AWARD for gratuitous displays of bad taste.

Our first overachiever is MSNBC, which ran a 24-hour Dead Pope Cam so viewers could watch mourners sobbing over the dead pope's body.

There hasn't been such poor taste displayed since ... well, since Entertainment Tonight mixed Pope news with Destiny's Child updates. Perhaps I'll fire up retroactive Macrame Awards.

Posted by Pepper at 01:03 PM | Permalink

Liberal Avenger and MalkinWatch cross-posted an article containing persuasive evidence that the crap posted on Michelle Malkin's blog is generated by not lil' ol' Michelle herself but by Michelle and her hubby.

I guess if one person can excrete a pile of crap, two people can excrete an even bigger pile, right?

But "we at the Pepper" were pulled into the fray and compared to Malkin, etc. because I also use the "royal we," and the "royal we" is what tipped MalkinWatch off regarding Michelle's household help.

One respondent wrote:

"We at Pepper", Powerline, Vodkapundit, Instapundit and I'm damned sure any number of moonbat blogs do it all the time.

Well, I'm glad to see that I'm out and about. Not so happy to be compared to Powerline, though. But that's fine - I haven't been blogging for long, and I'm getting a crash course in the dangers of the "royal we." Plus, I'd rather not stoop to Malkin's level - not even accidentally.

Lest anyone think Dr. Pepper is feeding me lines, I will say that, on LA's site, I argued back that bloggers often use handles, like truck drivers in the CB radio days. "We at the Pepper" is simply a creative handle. Sometimes I'm the mighty "I," the "we at the Pepper," or the walrus (ha, ha).

It's fun, like saying "breaker, breaker" and "10-4" at random intervals. But I will try to use the "royal I" more often because I am the only one posting on this blog, and all guests are clearly identified.

Posted by Pepper at 10:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)